Right now, I hate girls. Okay hate is strong word. I strongly dislike them. We are a dumb gender. We make things too complicated and tend to ruin them as well. If we're not ruining our lives, we're ruining other people's lives. I'm just frustrated right now. I have no privacy on here, which I was fully aware of when I started this. The only place I can talk about what's bothering me is in my actual journal. But I can't get advice from that, it's too awkward to hand it to someone and say "Hey can you read this? Got any ideas on what I should too?" And talking to people face to face, phone to phone, whatever, is sometimes waaaay too personal for me. Plus I have a hard time expressing how I feel because I can never find the words. I guess writing has always been some sort of escape of mine. Well at least lately. It's just easier to type things out. You can edit, go back and delete. Add things. You can't talk to someone and say "You know I just feel so sad today. Oh wait, let me go back and edit that...I feel so melancholy today." People intimidate me.
I think I need to make some major readjustments. Work on my self esteem and straighten out my priorities.

Crazy girls and girls looking for love in places where it won't be found. Uncomfortable. Unsure. Insecure.
Another day, another drama. Maybe it's just repeated drama that will keep re-occurring.
Distractions. Too many distractions. Pop tarts and Full House make everything okay again.
How can I talk about anything when people have "friends who send them this link" and take things the wrong way? Maybe there is no wrong way. Maybe I should just be mean. Everyone else thinks I'm a bitch or say I looked like one when they met me. BAGH! No more I say!! I don't want to deal with this anymore. *whine* I don't know how to handle it. So I will shower and ignore the problem until it pops again.

Somber. The sky is gloomy, the weather feels sad and her heart is nervous. She waits with anticipation. But for what? For him to call? He won't even be up for another 3 hours.
Alone. No one is around. School, work, sleep. That's where they all are. So she thinks to herself What should I do today? Not call him. Go look for an apartment. Keep busy and occupied. Do something.
She remembers her army boy. But what is there to remember? He's gone and she has no idea where to. 3 years. Or is it 4 now? She's lost count. Too much heartache so she moved on. He still lingers in the back of her mind, still has a place in her heart. But she's losing everything about him. The sound of his voice, his smell, his smile. His face. The one thing she tried so hard no to forget is slowly becoming dimmer and dimmer. Only letters are left now. And her faded memories.

Snow White looks outside the window. Such a beautifully sad day. She doesn't want to spend it alone but maybe she should.