"Walked away, heard them say
poisoned hearts will never change,
walk away again.
Turned away in disgrace,
felt the chill upon my face,
cooling from within.
Hard to notice, gleaming from the sky
when you're staring at the cracks.
Hard to notice what is passing by,
with eyes lowered.
Walked away, heard them say
poisoned hearts will never change
walk away again.
All the cracks, they lead
right to me, and
all the cracks will crawl
right through me,
all the cracks they lead
right to me, and
all the cracks will crawl
right through me
and I fell apart.
As, I, walked away, heard them say
poisoned hearts will never change
walk away again.
Turned away, in disgrace
felt a chill upon my face
cooling from within."

Bert's not a bad guy. Just like every couple, we have our problems. Why is it that only 3 people see that and support us and understand? Bert and I are the only ones who know what REALLY happens between us. Everyone else never sees it all, they just take what they want and twist it around to make me look like some pathetic loser and make him look like an asshole.
I'm slowly losing my patience and my respect for people. Not just for people I know but everyone. I am so sickened by this society. Fuck America. We're all just a bunch of fat assholes who own too many guns and hide behind our barred windows because we're afraid. Afraid of what? Afraid of what our shitty society has become. Even though we're the reason for it.
I'm becoming bitter.
Fuck everyone.
Oh and Merry Christmas.

I think I have lost my passion. Where did it go? Did I sweep it under the rug? Did Kim throw it away with clothes she never wears? My insecurity is getting the best of me. No matter how cool I feel or think I look, my eyes will always fall upon someone better and I am defeated.
I used to love dancing. I used to love acting. But what I miss the most: performing. I wish the Burlesque troupe would pull through and work out. There is just something about performing semi-naked in front of a bunch of people. Maybe it's because people tell me that there is this sensuality about me. I like to think that the way I move entrances people, turns them on, pulls them and it is then that they see the true beauty behind me.
I know I'm not thin. Though sometimes I desperately wish I was. And most of the time I am so uncomfortable with my body. But when I was on that stage, feeling everyone's eyes on me, feeling as if the sway of my hips were pulling them in, it was then that I felt like the most beautiful and amazing girl in that venue.
I want that back. I want to feel that way. Maybe not to everyone, but at least to someone. Someone who cares.